Reblog and spread the word. (Even if you don’t like Christian Bale, Batman, etc. this is important. It’s about the innocent people who were affected by this horrible incident)
Top 5 Regrets From Dying People —-
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve
weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
By Bronnie Ware
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11
In light of recent events (aka the horrible incident that happened in Colorado around midnight last night) I have decided it is indeed time to talk about life, this journey, and what it means.
To be quite honest with you, I think everyone is fully aware that life is short, but a lot of people take that for granted. Far too many people also take life way too seriously. As annoying and overused the phrase “YOLO” is, it is extremely true. As far as we know, you do only live once, so make it worthwhile. Life is too short for regrets, so even if you do regret something, put it behind you and move on. Stop thinking about and living in the past. Live in the present. Live in the present, because this is where you are now, this is the youngest you will ever be again, and frankly, if you don’t you will probably wind up regretting these moments too. I have made a lot of decisions in the past where I am not like “well shit I should have never done [or said] that” but then I put it behind me. Screw regret. It’s just our mind’s way of haunting us.
I was talking to one of my friends today about work, telling him how busy I have been all week working overtime to get everything done that needed to be done. He’s usually not serious - always the one making jokes and the one we go to for a laugh, not advice - but he said something serious and seriously true - “you have the rest of your life to be an adult. You’re in your prime, have fun and do what you want”. That’s something we tend to forget. We’re so busy with school and/or work that we forget to be a kid sometimes. We forget that this is our time - with no kids, no bills to pay, no worries other than school and work - to have fun. This is our time to be adventurous, to stay up all night and have a movie marathon just because we can, to make our dreams a reality.
That’s what this whole bucket list thing is about. It’s about taking things that seem impossible and so far out of our reach, and make them possible. To make our wildest dreams come true. If you would have told me when I started high school that by the time I finished my first year of college I’d have started rowing, driven a four-wheeler, and most importantly, found friends who I can be my complete self around and not care what anyone thinks, then I would have told you you’re effing insane and should probably check yourself into a mental institution. Five years ago I worried about so much - what people thought of me, how my hair looked (god forbid I went au natural), what I got on every single test and quiz, how I acted. I thought I had to be perfect. I think part of it is how I was raised. I love my parents, but there came a point where I just stopped listening to them. I didn’t rebel, but I realized that my parents are the parents that push me to do more and strive for more - nothing is ever good enough. I realized that I could never make them (or anyone) happy if I didn’t first make myself happy. The more I focused on my own personal happiness, the more happy my parents became as well (shocker, shocker right? haha).
This whole incident at the movie theater in Colorado is a horrible reminder of how short life is. We never know when God will decide it is our time to go - whether it will be tragically or naturally. He has a plan for each of us (sorry I’m not sorry for the God-talk you non-believers out there, but this is my blog, I’ll say what I want ;] ) and no one, not even doctors, know what that is. It’s like the infamous case of a doctor telling a patient they have x amount of time to live, and then they wind up living longer. No human knows, only God does. I’m not in any way saying God’s plan for James Holmes was for him to be personally responsible for the largest shooting in U.S. history, killing a dozen people and injuring dozens more, but I am saying people are taken from us all too soon sometimes, because loss teaches us a painful reminder - one that we need. No one goes to a movie theater thinking “Hm, maybe there will be a mass shooting tonight.” There was a 6-year-old, 4-year-old, and 4 month-old baby in that audience. If my parents had taken me to a midnight premier of a movie when I was 6 and I got to wear a costume to boot, I’d have told every kid I knew and every kid I saw. I would never think of something like that could ever happen. As if kids weren’t scared enough of the world, add witnessing a mass murder. I can almost guarantee those kids, along with many other witnesses are going to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The world? Yeah it’s kind of a mess. But of course it is. I researched this guy and it sounds like he didn’t really have many friends, and when he got to Colorado to get his PhD it sounds like he didn’t have any. He went on a downward spiral. He had no friends there, his grades dropped, he started to withdrawal from school, and he started to buy guns. Humans need friends - psychology will tell you that. It’s kind of hard to believe, but in all honesty if he had some friends in Colorado, there’s a chance this tragedy would not have happened. The same goes for the Virginia Tech shooter. There is a recurring trend here, which really gets me thinking about friendship. Everyone deserves a friend. Even just 1 good friend. My friends keep my feet on the ground, and the same could have rung true for those 2 men. But instead, these days (along with many others) will go down in infamy.
"Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don’t even deserve to be an issue in your life." -Anonymous
Went to college and as it turns out the person I became best friends with owns four-wheelers. So of course when I went to go visit her over Christmas break, she took me four-wheeling and let me drive. Then made fun of me because I was so cautious, but hell, there were a lot of trees around haha sorry I’m not sorry. It was still awesome.
With our 1st year of college behind us, I think it’s safe to say we both left our comfort zones and tried something new.
For me, a girl who hadn’t been in athletics since my freshman year of high school, I became a Division 1 athlete. In high school I had reached that point in my life where I just said I was done with sports. Growing up I was always involved with sports, so to my parents this came as a shock. I always had that feeling like something was missing from my life though. When I got to college there was a meeting for the rowing team - no strings attached and more importantly, no experience necessary. If you wanted to get involved and try it, that was great, but you could also decide it wasn’t for you. After the meeting, I definitely had a feeling it was something I needed to try. After my very first practice on the water, I was hooked. That’s the thing about rowing - it just gets you. Obviously it’s not for everyone - 4 am alarms, 5:30 am rows in 30 degree weather (rain or shine…well more like blackness as the sun has yet to come up), a body that is constantly in pain no matter how many stretches you do to try to relieve it, lactic acid buildup in your muscles (particuarly your legs) from pushing your muscles to near failure, no social life, every hour of my day is schedule, and in case morning practices weren’t enough there are always those infamous 2-a-days - yeah, this is what I have come to willingly put myself through.
I would definitely say I learned a lot about myself via rowing. Never in my life did I ever think I could do this. Rowing is just as mental as it is physical. You have to be trained to learn that your mind will tell you to stop, but your body will keep going, you just have to push through the hell. Yeah it sucks when my entire body is in an extreme amount of pain, but it feels awesome after when you’re on your rowing high (and when you get to eat a bajillion calories a day because rowing is one of the highest calorie-burning sports. It’s just my excuse to eat all the time and only get semi-judged for it.)
As for Audrey, she auditioned and performed in a play - something she said she would do in high school but never got time for. And she also ran a half marathon…in freaking Disney World with the characters along the sides cheering the runners on. Lucky bitch. But I can’t speak too much for her because we go to different schools so lord only knows if she tried anything else new (oh and she brought her best friend some cuppy cakes to one of her races near Audrey’s school hehe yeah she’s my favorite person :p )
suhmuhdui said: i love your passion for life and your love of the buried life! they are amazing and they inspire me too! i'm going to be posting my bucket list on my blog soon too! :D ALSO, i see you guys are a fan of macklemore too! LOVE! i've seen him in concert three times and he was absolutely amazing all three times, but it's on my bucket list to see him in concert in SEATTLE where the true magic happens! :D we have so much in common and i love it! <3
thank you very much! :) good luck with crossing off your list items! and yes best rapper ever. are his concerts the best? i bet they are hahah we were hoping to go to 1 in our city but it was 21+ - we e-mail his manager and told him how it was on our bucket list and so he tried to get us in but the venue said no i guess :/ lol oh well hopefully we get to see him in concert someday! i bet seattle is the best place to see him in concert but even if i get to some rando one, as long as i get to see him in concert that shit will be off the list! haha
We constantly add stuff to it, but here’s what we have so far:
- Go skydiving
- Go wingdiving in the Netherlands
- Swim with dolphins
Go to the zoo again [done] Go to the aquarium again [done]
- Travel to Australia
- Swim with sharks in Australia
- Travel to Germany
- Travel to London
- Go surfing again
- Go in a wind tunnel
- Take a road trip
- Travel to Canada
- Shoot a gun
- Inspire someone
- Be a good role model
- Go SCUBA diving again
- Go snorkeling
- Make a big donation to charity
- Meet someone famous and have a conversation with them
- Go to the Olympics
- Go to at least 1 FIFA world cup game
- Make a difference
- Send a message in a bottle
- Get a dog (Marissa)
- Run up the Philadelphia art museum steps like Rocky
- Give a stranger a $5 bill
- Say “yes” to every yes or no question for a day
- Drive a boat
- Learn how to sail
- Fall in love
- Get married
- Go to a world series game
Go to collegeand graduate [1st part done] Graduate from High School [done]
- Attend a PSU football game
- Run a marathon
- Do a triathlon
- Do the polar bear plunge
- Meet a famous athlete
- Go to Seattle
- Pet an elephant (Marissa)
- Go cliff diving
- Peaceful protest something
- Backpack through Europe
- Speak in a bunch of different accents in a conversation to confuse people
- Eat breakfast at Blue Moon Cafe
- Climb a mountain
- Learn how to do a snowboard trick (Marissa)
- Take a spontaneous trip
Go to a midnight premier of a movie [done]
- Have a food fight
- Try luge and/or skeleton
Tailgate [done] Go to an Army-Navy football game [done] Get into college [done]
- Flip into a pool
- Try trapeze
- Run around in the snow with shorts and a t-shirt on (Marissa)
Get a picture on a boat and have the caption say “I’m on a boat!” [done]
- Successfully get off of a ski lift (Marissa)
- Stay overnight in the ice hotel
- See Macklemore in concert
- Travel to Atlantis
- Go to Sundance Film Festival
- Dress like a hipster for a day
- See the Northern Lights in person
- Go to the color-by-number museum in PDX and submit my own “artwork”
- Climb the Sydney Bridge in Australia
- See the Great Barrier Reef in person
- Travel to Greece
- Be in 2 places at once
- Go to the trampoline park in Denmark
- Dress up as Harry Potter characters for a whole day (other than Halloween)
Go to Georgetown Cupcakes and (of course) get some dang cupcakes! [partially done - had the cuppycakes, Audrey went, Marissa didn’t]
- Get a tattoo (Audrey)
- Donate blood (Audrey)
- Get a book published
- Reenact the “THIS IS SPARTA!” scene from 300
- Don’t use 1 arm for a day (not trying to be offensive with this one so please don’t take it the wrong way - it’s just a way to help us realize how good we have it and how we should appreciate what we have)
- Go to a Dropkick Murphys concert
- Watch rehabbed turtles be returned to sea
- Let a floating lantern up into the sky
- Stay at the Poseidon Undersea Resort in Fiji
- Cheer on random strangers in public
Say hi and wave to random strangers in public [done] Try something new at college [done]
- Try Archery (Audrey: Complete - Marissa: Not Complete)
Drive a four-wheeler [completed]
""This is your ‘one wild and precious life,’ and it’s up to you to decide what to do with it. Nothing should be out of reach." -Jonnie Penn"-The Buried Life book
So last summer, TBL tweeted our friend Nate’s TBL-inspired blog. He has an amazing and inspiring story and this is basically his journey back to health and back to being a normal teenager. So I think it’s about time I post his website if any of you want to read it :)
And to the buried life: thank you guys so much this meant the world to him to have the people that inspire him most post this and recognize him, and it meant the world to me to have my best friend, who has gone through so much, be probably the happiest/most excited he had been in long time and feel like all the crap he went through was worth it. You guys helped to keep him fighting through everything, and you guys helped him be here today - happy and healthy and on his way to his next adventure (college) this fall.
Okay so Audrey went, I didn’t, but both of us have had the cupcakes.
I drove by one day - on a weekday nonetheless - at an obscure hour, and the line was still redonkulous. Yeah, when my time in limited in D.C., I’m not going to spend 2 hours waiting for cupcakes. Sorry I’m not sorry.
Anyway, both of us agree that while the cupcakes were indeed good, they weren’t exactly what we expected. What with all the hype, the 2 hour long wait just to get 1 cupcake, it’s not exactly worth it. While they are good, there is nothing really special about them. They’re just like the cupcakes we bake at home pretty much, not too different.
If you’re in D.C. and looking for some awesomely awesome cupcakes, but don’t want to wait for forever and a day at Georgetown Cupcakes, try Sprinkles Cupcakes (they actually have locations in 10 cities throughout the USA). Sprinkles has more cupcake flavors to choose from (yeah, you can even get your puppy a cupcake there, no lie), they’re definitely more special than something I could easily make at home (I may be a skilled baker, but shit, I can’t make a chai latte cupcake. Who the hell even thought that was a possibility??). I’ve never been there myself (Audrey surprised me by bringing me 2 cupcakes to 1 of my races this year, best friend of the year award? I think so.) but seriously. Go get them. They’re amazing.